Rebuttal on lessons learned

A friend of mine sent an email to me the other day. In his email he related some of the lessons that he has learned in the last few years. I believe them to be noteworthy. Below in quotations and in italics are his lessons. Below each quotation are my own personal rebuttals, my take on the sentiments, my amendments, and my general opinions.

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“-I've learned to trust in the Lord and not in people that I'm not sealed to.”

The only truly trustworthy person is the Lord. Everyone else is human and as such can succumb to human nature. Everyone can disappoint you, but that does not mean that no one is untrustworthy. Believe in peoples virtues; use your head, heart, and spirit to discern what you can trust people with. I believe that people grow from being trusted. Whether little (someone saving your place in line) or big (a duty e.g. the president of a company trusting that those he delegates to will fulfill their responsibilities), a trust given to one by another can help an individual grow and become more trustworthy; this I have learned from experience. Even if that person dishonors the trust bequeathed to them they can grow from the consequences. Yes people have to earn trust, but why deny them the chance to enhance their ability to do so.

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“-God has a plan and when we actively work against it, bad things naturally happen.”

Unpleasant happenings in life are like road sign that divert paths from worse happenings. This however does not mean that our intended road isn’t filled with pot holes and construction. Bad things sometimes happen to good people, but those things (pot holes and construction) are to test our suspension.

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“-Lives change when I act and speak with the Spirit.”

Agreed. There are only two forces in the world, the “sword” and the spirit. In the long run the “sword” will always be conquered by the spirit. The spirit is a much greater tool, weapon, device, or speech than any mortal method. Speaking with the spirit can change lives when “swords” temporarily persuade, force, and/or damage.

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“-While believing in a single soul-mate makes life a lot more exciting, it's not how God designed us. The concept of soul-mates (plural) is almost as exciting.”

I don’t much like the word soul-mate. If the common definition that a soul-mate is somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/OR compatibility, then I have reason to assume that a soul mate is not just a significant other, but anyone who you have “affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility with” (hopefully the sexuality part is missing out of most of these relationships). I believe that soul-mates are people who have, who are, or who will touch your soul. I think that a soul-mate is someone who brings out the best in you. They are not perfect (because of humanity again) but are always perfect for you (short term or long term). I believe that this includes family and friends. Also I consider people who cross our paths for even a moment can be a soul-mate, if said crossing touches one of the party on a spiritual level.

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“-I must genuinely love myself before I expect others to love me."

There is a quote by C.S. Lewis that I am fond of. He said “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” I’m not sure if this is congruent with the lesson, but it is what came to mind when I read it. Moral is: Use your heart.

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“-Jealousy is a good gauge of self-worth.”

I’m not sure what was meant by this. I do know that I have had to learn more control over my jealousies. I used to think that it meant I had something to fight for and therefore not all bad. After all being protective is a virtue. However when not controlled it brings envy, resentment, suspicion, distrust, and covetousness. Also when it is felt by others concerning me I feel un-trusted, demeaned, degraded, debased, humiliated, disgraced, and shamed. Any one of these all can push me to reevaluate myself and my actions, which can be good. However when the jealousy is unfounded I feel betrayed and infuriated I then find myself pushing away.

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“-Love can't be manipulated or forced.”

I believe that it can be manipulated. Working with young pregnant women in dreadful and unhealthy relationships has proven to me that it can defiantly be manipulated. Genuine and honest love should not be.

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“-The Priesthood can't be manipulated or forced.”

Completely agree.

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“-My own ideas and beliefs, while thought to be wrong by many, are able to be reconciled with my religion and in no way violate it.”

I believe that each person learns and understands in different ways. For example I think that there is a lot of truth and light in most religions and that the ways in which they choose to worship reflects their ideas and their understanding of the truth. Take chakras. Chakras and energy paths are a widely used expression of how the spirit can affect the body. I know quite a few members who use the idea of chakras and energy. They take pieces of the concept and use it to further their understanding of the gospel. I have listened to their elucidations and can in no way find infringement to gospel principles. It’s like visual people vs. auditory people. Reiki is another example of this. Visualizing your connection to heaven makes it more tangible for some. There are so many pieces of the truth out there that can further comprehension. However these always need to be approached from a spiritual standpoint and must acquiesce to the gospel and the spirit.