A word of complaint

I find the concept of complaint interesting. The word complain means to express discontent or unhappiness about a situation, or to describe symptoms that are being experienced, e.g. of an illness. As of late I have been guilty of the later. I have found that even I am getting annoyed with my own complaints so I can only imagine what others may feel. Granted, even in sickness I am not much of a grumbler so I believe (and hope) that it has not been too excessive. However in my state of complaint I found myself thinking more on the matter.

We live in a society of complaint. The city is too crowded. The country is too lonely. People drive too fast. People drive to slow. We are creating Global warming….oh wait, it’s getting colder…We are creating climate change. The government is not doing enough. The government is doing too much. I could go on, but we’ve all heard it.

What I find about complaint is that it always stems from one of two things.

1. The complainee has no control over the situation and has no other option but too moan about it.

2. The complainee has the opportunity or ability to change the situation but is either, too sacred, too lazy, or too full of the idea that no one person can make a difference.

My mother calls either of the two B & C-ers (I’ll leave the interpretation of that acronym up to your imagination). The second of the two is one of my biggest infuriations. For example: I am sick, but I have not taken any medicine to manage or repair my system (Granted I despise taking medicine, and would have to be in dire straits to take even one Tylenol). Do I have a right to complain? This sickness, to a certain extent, is beyond my control. However there are strategies that I could employ to lessen the gravity of my complaints, yet have chosen not to employ them. That is my own darn fault. My laziness, as well as a certain level of grossed-out-ness, has escorted, maybe even aided my ailment on its drawn out expedition throughout my body. I restate: It’s my own darn fault. What have I to complain about besides my own ineptness?

Complaint is a natural Human reaction to the undesirable. Like I stated before I admit to grumblings and therefore admit to my own exasperations with myself. However there is a summit to complaint. Excessive complaining leads to annoyance, hurt feelings, disregard, blanket statements, and our own self defeating behavior.

• On Annoyance: Who likes to be around negative? What complaint have you ever heard that was a positive or an affirming comment?

• On Hurt Feelings: I think that the greatest abuses towards my being were in the form of complaints. I most often gauge my value and merit on my performance. Whether I am at work, play, or really anything I am trying to perform at my best. I like to think that nothing is a competition, but it really is. At least it is for me. I am always in competition with myself. This can be good. I have taken complaints about my actions, used them to improve and rise above. Constructive criticism can be good, but when it is presented hurtfully it can wound the most impenetrable. There have been a few times where I have quit things that I enjoyed or, now looking back can see that I was actually really good at. As much as I would like to admit otherwise I succumbed to the “don’t even tries” and the “you’ll never be as good as”. I have also witnessed this hurtful criticism and the ruin it initiated to others.

• On Disregard: Just as the boy who cried wolf, those who continually complain about their circumstance usually are rewarded with deaf ears. Example: I continually complain about how ill I feel when said illness is nothing serious. What If and/or when that sickness becomes more serious? It may seem common and dismissive.

• Blanket statements: These are all-encompassing statement that is not strictly true. For example: 'Everyone likes ice-cream'. In this example, although a lot of people like ice-cream, there is always a chance that some people do not. What does this have to do with complaint? Complaints often produce blanket statements. I am so annoyed with Janice that I am complaining about her callousness. "Everyone hates her" I say. This may be true to some, but what of those who don’t know Janice? What about her mother?

Blanket statements and assumptions are my greatest annoyance.

• On Self Defeating Behavior: Complaints often lead to excuses why not to act. When we submit to being lazy, fearful, or when we get caught in the thought that we cannot make a difference our life becomes submissive, passive, and accepting. Small acceptances lead to larger ones. This can lead to morals and beliefs becoming compromised. When that happened we are defeating ourselves

I hope that I can pause before complaining. My tongue does run away with me sometime and I ask for forgiveness in advance if I forget myself. Again, complaint is human just as it is to make mistakes. Let us try to fault on the side of more compassionate humans.